Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Your topless pictures make me question reality
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
