Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
