somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
