How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
