Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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