I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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