i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
