yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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