So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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