I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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