I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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