I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
