angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize