I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
time to smoke my breakfast
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
