no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
