can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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