That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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