Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
