I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
