I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
