i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We were destined to go to rehab together
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
