do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's blow job season.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize