are you still at the devil's house?
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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