So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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