My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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