He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
