I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize