You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
