You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
