eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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