brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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