break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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