You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My pussy is not your playground.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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