Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
