he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
