so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
