Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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