I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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