benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
