Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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