oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
There's even glitter on my cock...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize