I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
