we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
