another moral hangover. fuck.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
