Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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