I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
