I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
