i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She bit a glass in half.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
