It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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