I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
