If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just found a bag of teeth...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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