I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
