Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
