living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
