I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
