you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
