It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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